dreaming of death.

It's 2pm now, and I'm slouching back in my chair while typing this entry. I'm suppose to be buried in my books and try memorise my notes since exam is around the corner. But look what I am doing now?

Everyone's having their nap - which is usual for lazy afternoons like now. The stillness of the afternoon is peaceful, it's serenity engulf the sky.

Too peaceful, I must say.

The rain is pelting down the window as I'm typing this, and I know normally, I would have thrown myself in bed, and just repose. It would also be perfect for some serious mugging for me, since I'm bored rigid and sitting in front of the computer wouldn't result to anything fruitful (yes, look who's speaking.) But now, my mind is nowhere near textbooks, notes and pending assignments.

The shrill silence is deafening. My thoughts seem to flow best at such conditions, but they are alas just flowing aimlessly, hitting the corners of my head. They can't seem to find their designated path, and all they can do is throw themselves in every direction trying to find one that fits.

It's not a headache, more of a ...confusion. Something's been bugging me for days now, and I've been pondering to myself if it means anything. You know once in awhile, you dream about something and the next day you actually remember whatever you've been dreaming about? Well, these past few days have been one of those days. I've been dreaming of a family member dying, and it's been bugging me since.

I won't call it a nightmare, since I've always associate nightmares with ghosts and gory creatures. But anyhow, I've been waking up feeling overwhelmed with this surge of poignant and grief, and the worse thing is that I don't even know whatever that dream means.

I know sometimes, ignorance is bliss. But I can't help it. If only I know. :(