shoot me please.

no,i'm not going to blog about yesterday,for now.because i have much,much more important thing to worry about.yess,that issue.

my bro got to go to republic poly.i'm like happy for him and all,but kind of sad.last time,when i received my result,we were like "iya-iya" lahh want to go to poly together,tho maybe not the same school.that would be like cool,right?but no.look where i'm going - nowhere particular.and i couldn't hold that bravado facade any longer.i just broke down,and lock myself in the room,ostracize myself.all alone,like a fucking loser.

and you know what hurts me most?

not because of me,possibly being in ite.not also being too overwhelmed by the revelation of reality,being too late.

it's because of them,my own family,being their concern selfs,wanting to discuss about my next move - which is like the last thing that i really want to talk about thankyouverymuch.and i still have that tiny glint of hope that i could possibly have the poly result - positive.

maybe,maybe not.

like i said,a slim chance is still a chance.


and they keep asking, "ite boleh ehh?" - just for reassurance.


and i say,

like i have a choice.