sweet indulgence.

i'm getting sick of this kind of life.there seems to be something missing here.suddenly the thought of waking up late in the morning just doesn't excite me anymore.and sleeping in the late hours at night,too.i seem to live in my own little world,where the everyday routine is the only reason i live for now.

i'm a teenager,but i feel like i'm living like a housewife.what with all the housechores,kids,and marketing.i spend everyday looking forward only to reading the newspaper.or start the day with going to the supermarket,surrounded by the hassle and crowd.all aunties and old women,who are busy browsing through the vegetables.or making decisions on which fishes to buy.or buying some milk.yadda yadda.

it's driving me crazy.

i find myself being morose at the slightest hint of disarray after spending the day cleaning the house.and about school.waiting for the result is crucifying.everyday,i can't help going downstairs just to check the mailbox.though i know,it's not there.the fervour of getting the result just overwhelmed me.

can't wait to get it done and over it.

i can't stand living like this anymore.not being happy,even in my own house.

and if i'm not feeling really good.moody,tired or whatever,i just had to grab something and just eat.yeah,its a bad habit,but i think it's about time i gain some weight huh.doesn't help that i'm feeling lifeless.so i indulge myself in any food i crave.sweets,snacks and chocolates.lots of the chocolates.

i love it so much,i think i can survive with only it.=)

now,i'm not going to sound depressing for all you people.

i just think that my life is beyond mundane,monotonous and stagnant.it just doesn't have any purpose.

The purpose of life, is to have a purpose in life.

i always think of life that way.

and i don't think i have any purpose.for now.

cheers?

i can't just pretend that everything is hunky dory and give a fake smile just so people won't worry about me and would be happy.but till that day come, i guess i'll just have some patience,and just take everyday one step at a time.
patience is a virtue kann.=) (and that smiley is to sound happy)

okay lahh.maybe i'm being too hard on myself.but anything...i can't wait for dear besties to save me from this gallow of depression.

let's just say i'm desperate to enter the social world.because right now, i am a living corpse.

toots.

cheery deary cheers??