reality check

HI DEAR NUR IYLIANI BTE OMAR

We regret to inform you that your appeal is unsuccessful.We have notified you through this email as provided sometime last week.

Thank you for your interest desperate-ness for in Temasek Polytechnic.

Regards Regrets
Student Services & Admissions
Temasek Polytechnic


now,why am i not surprise by that?hmmph.mus told me she got it yesterday,so i reckon i should get it soon.yay?and i'm not even feeling like sad,or being dumbfounded. maybe just a little disappointed,but it's okay.-____-(yess,i'm putting on that false bravado front.) i still have that ngeeann poly result to look forward to,right? anddd..i have got everything figured out,so i'm not really depressed or anything.

i can't imagine myself being in tp,anyway.(in fact, i didn't want tp for a poly in the first place) =) yess,i'm making myself happy,so shut up ehh.=)

oh,that "hi" word was just bugging me.it sounded too informal,so yeah,i altered the letter.hee.-___-


i'm just thinking,its just somewhat pathetic,my life.i mean,here i am,trying to be optimist and all,pretending everything is under control.and me trying to "keep my heads up high",and never look crestfallen,or defeated.and i have some unnecessary irritating uninvited people who keep putting me down.

mr uncle says - "when you get your result?"
ms aunt says - " i told you so"

gahh,what is with people?

i'm cheating myself if i say i'll feel content if i have some school to go.even if it's ite.no.i don't want to just go to some school and lead a miserable life.i want something more.i want something that i'd love doing the rest of my life.

but that's the problem - i don't know what i want.

i mean, really.which 17 years olds know what they want to do ten years from now.(maybe just some,but not me.)

alright.enough abhorance.

maybe someday,i'll realise that this is really nothing compared to other problems.maybe i should just breathe some air,get a life.just lighten up a bit.

i should make this situation a lesson,and not waking up from my own little reverie one day too late,and realise that my future is crumbling right in front of me,while i was blithely not aware of the real world.

enough of mellowdramas,trying to figure out my life.

"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again,this time more wisely"

i'll keep that in mind.=)



and to dear farah hor :
thanks for the four-days-ago "Chin up,and don't lose faith" tag. it really means very much and i'll always remember that.=)




you know,sometimes,when you say something very wise,it really, really makes so much sense tauu.hee