i'm nonchalant

the whistling blow of the wind was just peaceful.the cool weather was perfect for a nap.it's like as though i'm in a recorded video.and by going to nap,i'm actually pressing the "pause" button,and escape from the problems and issue.you know,just get caught up in my own reverie,away from everything else.

i wanted to get into bed,enjoying the serenity,but i couldn't get my minds off it.

i find myself in a series of unwanted flashbacks,and wanting to go back there again, and just redo everything once more.yes,i wish.if only i was back in school again,and could see things in perspectives.if only i keep hellboy's serious mein,and perspicuity in mind,and treat it as a threat and a challenge.if only i am pertinacious about what i want,and not be so fickle.if only i could stress myself out a little more,and not give up too easily.

if only.

and all that just made everything so worse.there's a surge feeling of regrets,and huge tinge of guilt.

and all is just too late,isn't it?

now, like the title on the ite booklet i just received today - "moving on."

yess,i just have to move on now.


and there's just nothing i can do more.





maybe, of course, just pray for that last slim chance of a taste of poly life.=)